Celebrities keep interviewing each other and writing profiles of themselves, and the results are unfortunate. The pieces produced are lacking in perspective and nuance; tough questions go unasked, compliments abound. And it prompts ceaseless complaining from the media community, which I simply don’t like to listen to at parties.
I think a fair compromise is to, instead of letting celebrities profile and interview themselves, let celebrities test the waters of another aspect of the industry and write one blog post (or “one  blog post” in blogger-speak) about a topic of their choosing. Taylor Swift did it this morning for Elle: “30 THINGS I LEARNED BEFORE TURNING 30.” And frankly, I enjoyed it enough!
(Granted, this is also Elle’s cover story, effectively subbing in for a profile. And it’s a complement to the actual self-profile Taylor Swift did for Elle U.K. The system is not yet perfect; we have to work out the kinks, and work with what the world gives us. That is one thing I learned before turning 30.)
“30 THINGS I LEARNED BEFORE TURNING 30” is a classic blog trope, captured most clearly and most often on the blog, yes, mmhm, yep, you guessed it: Thought Catalog. “32 Things I Learned by Age 32,” offers Thought Catalog. “20 Things I Learned The Hard Way at 20.” “18 Things I Hope You Learned in 2018.” “24 Things You Owe It to Yourself to Learn by 24.” “28 Important Things I Learned at 28.” “28 Life Lessons You’ll Hopefully Learn by 28.” “22 Little Things I Learned About Life At 22.” “22 Lessons You Deserve to Learn by 22.” Etc., etc., etc., etc., etc.
And Taylor Swift truly does the genre justice. Her blogger-speak is, dare I say, more engaging than that of most modern-day bloggers. “I think it’s healthy for your self-esteem to need less internet praise to appease it,” she writes about blocking out the noise of social media, “especially when three comments down you could unwittingly see someone telling you that you look like a weasel that got hit by a truck and stitched back together by a drunk taxidermist.” Haha. Plus, her ability to have 30 different things to say is an excellent display of the stamina a blogger needs.
Swift even goes into The Breville Die-Cast 2-Slice Smart Toaster™ Awl-like territory, praising an object for the simple fact that it does its job well. “Recently I discovered Command tape,” she writes at number 11, “and I definitely would have fewer holes in my walls if I’d hung things that way all along. This is not an ad. I just really love Command tape.”
“Be like a snake,” she says in point No. 2, “only bite if someone steps on you.” Not fact-checking the sort of things a snake does or does not do hearkens back to the days of blogging when you could pretty much say whatever, because who cares? Very freeing!
I think this is good, then. Let the celebrities do a blog post for your publication. Maybe they can try out a novelty food item, or do some sort of weeklong stunt? Maybe they can write, “Uh, Yeah Bernie Is Old — SO WHAT?” and publish it on Splinter? Maybe they can do something like, “Actually, You’ve Been Tying Your Shoes Wrong All Along.” Or like, “This Is Why Logan Was Rory’s BEST Boyfriend (Hint: HE’S RICH!!!!).” Or like, “Winter Is the Best Season.”
I genuinely think this is a good idea and would love to see it.